The cross saved my marriage

Jesus died on the cross for us. And like His life and resurrection, His death accomplished something very profound for us. Yet, as I learned some time ago, His cross also revealed and demonstrated something to us all—an eternal truth that saved my marriage.

About 6-7 years ago, my marriage wasn’t doing too well. Neither my wife or I had given up yet, but all of our efforts were focused on trying to “fix” the other person. I was certainly selfish and my wife might say she was too. But then something happened to us. We both began our reversion back to the Catholic Church—we started to embrace our Christianity. As a result of that journey, we began to do (imperfectly) what we were commanded to do by our Lord. We began to mimic what He showed us on the cross (albeit on an unfathomably smaller scale).

Once my wife and I began to focus our attention on giving to God, we were compelled to give to others. By that simple shift in focus, something happened. Our marriage began to heal itself. We were no longer concerned with fixing the other person. We were concerned only with giving of ourselves to God and giving of ourselves to others (including each other). Our animosities and egos waned. We fell in love again. With God. And with each other.

We find in the cross, not only our Lord, but also His living out what He called the two greatest commandments.

“‘Teacher, which commandment in the law is the greatest?’

He said to him, ‘You shall love the Lord, your God, with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind. This is the greatest and the first commandment.

The second is like it: You shall love your neighbor as yourself. The whole law and the prophets depend on these two commandments.”

As He hung on the cross, He was giving Himself up to our heavenly Father for us. He did nothing for himself. The cross pointed up towards our Father in heaven, and out towards us. And in the center of that intersection was Jesus Christ.

My wife and I have been married for almost twelve years. It is considered a short time by some and a long time by others, but I know we will not part until death. And if anyone is interested in the secret, the secret is in Christ, in His cross and in His words.

“Love the Lord, your God, with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind. And love your neighbor as yourself.”